I’m really craving alcohol right now
and it’s bloody annoying because I know I can’t have any. I can’t fuck up this time, I don’t ever want to come back to the hospital. And with everyone watching me like a hawk there’s no way I could even sneakily buy a bottle and drink it.
I hate this.
I wish everyone would just leave me alone and let me destroy myself. I haven’t craved it since I got here, I don’t know wtf is wrong now. Hopefully this goes away soon.
changing my mind
going through who I’m following is just too much work.
if you’re following me, and want me to check out your blog, you can like this.
or just ignore it, whatever.
I’ve followed the blogs I most love, which equals about 4 lol
the rest can be done in time.
finally decided
to make a new blog, but I’m keeping this one so that I can look back on old posts I like, and reblog posts I don’t want to lose onto my new one.
So much work…
First; to go through the 170 blogs I’m following and see which ones I like…
Second; reblog pictures I don’t want to lose
new - http://mind-ofamonster.tumblr.com/
I’m so unhappy that summer is coming
It’s too fucking hot, and the heat always makes me feel sick and gives me headaches. I hate summer clothes of all kind, so I’m always even hotter with my jeans and t shirts. Though I suppose it isn’t as bad as it used to be when I cared about hiding the cuts on my arms, then I was always dressed in long sleeved shirts and hoodies. Now I can at least wear t shirts because I don’t give a flying fuck if people see my cuts. But it’s still too fucking hot. And I always have to wear the strongest sunscreen, because I think tans are soo fucking hideous. I love being pale, and sunscreen is smelly and greasy and disgusting. fucccccccccccccccck. Winter is never long enough.
If nothing else, the shitty internet in this madhouse will be enough to drive me completely insane.
“One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure, clean shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we’re made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.” —
“They always say they’re concerned about me, about my health, when all they want to do is control me. They want to pin me down and force-feed me with lies, with what they call love. Like prisoners everywhere, all I have left is the power to refuse.” —
Seriously
If I see one more pro ana girl on my dash talking about “thin for summer so she can wear cute shorts” or so some boy will like her, I’ll be at risk of throwing my bloody laptop out the window.
An eating disorder is not a fucking diet, you inane little girls.
Time to stop being so lazy and either go through my long list of blogs I’m following, or make a new tumblr. I just wish I could decide which I’d rather do.
Making a new tumblr would be nice, a fresh start. At the same time, if I ever wanted to go back through my posts for something I said [mainly my stay in the psychward] I wouldn’t be able to. Unless of course I made a new tumblr and just kept this one for that reason…
but then I would still have to go through the blogs I’m following to find the ones I actually like.
choices choices, and so much fucking work. Maybe tomorrow I’ll work on fixing this problem, since I’m stuck in the hospital all weekend anyway it would certainly help pass time.
Same here, now if only everyone could fuck off and leave me be, it’d be perfect.I love this. I’m not hungry anymore. I could go days without food, if only not for meddling people in my life.
I’m going to take a wild guess in the dark that Helen’s Bellatrix would have been darker. She wouldn’t have been child-like crazy the way Helena gave her voice. I picture someone who is sadistically dark and controlled, much like Voldemort himself.
When I saw her on Doctor Who that was just a tiny tiny glimpse into her Bellatrix.
I wish they would make a movie just about Bellatrix, with Helen playing her. Not saying I don’t love Helena as Bellatrix of course, but it would be interesting to see.
(Source: harrypotterconfessions)
